


Egoism

by handelgamer



Series: Steeled Walls and Unending Faith - Tales from the Dragonsong War [4]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Death Threats, Gen, Inferiority, Post-3.0, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-19 05:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19968715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handelgamer/pseuds/handelgamer
Summary: Cecetu was never good at dealing with people she didn't like.A follow-up to "Silenced" within my XIVWrite 2018 fills.





	Egoism

“What am I supposed to do with you?” Cecetu said quietly. In her hand, her Black Mage job stone. She knew she should have given it back. She had found her passion, it was with mechanistry. She enjoyed the study of Black Magic but she liked the actual tactile feedback of working on magitek. And adapting it with her own study of aether. It was fascinating!

What was one mode of destruction over another?

And yet, whenever she tried to just steer herself over to the cave where Kazagg Chav was waiting, she found herself being pulled away. As if...as if something was trying to stop her.

“What are you trying to tell me?” she muttered to that stone, begging for some sort of reply. “Why should I still hold onto you?”

It was all the old memories wasn’t it? Of a time before the Calamity. Where she first found true friendship. With those that she discovered Black Magic with and those with whom wanted her.

Ah yes, there it was. People who wanted her for her magic. She was so sure that was what they wanted. But they stood by her, at her very worst. Twice over in Eleone’s case. Hell, she made a friend in Percy during a low time.

Was it the reinvention? She reached in her bag and pulled out the other job stone. The bright blue marking her as a machinist of the Skysteel Manufactory. It was as dangerous to her enemies as a flick of fire.

But there was something easier about flames, a more innate flow. And the feel of the burning fire and the temptation of the raw magical power…

Cecetu shook her head. If living in Ul’dah and her training from the Order was anything, unchecked lust for power was bad.

And yet…

* * *

“Kazagg Chav...I don’t know if I’m suited for Black Magic anymore...”

“Why do you say this, friend?” The Amal’jaa said, shocked.

“You know as well as I that you have accepted another into the fold. Admit it! You don’t need me at all now.” She didn’t look at him as she extended her hand forward, job stone facing up towards him. “Go on, take it!”

She felt a large claw-like hand grab hold of her tiny one. But wait! He was supposed to grab the stone. “Your friend, while strong, is not the wielder of the Gem of Shatotto. That title remains yours alone. You above all others need to ask him where he got his gem from.”

Asking Chotan questions. Bah, she hated the idea already.

“I will not take this. I never will. You are of us, Cecetu and a dear friend besides,” Kazagg Chav said.

“Thanks, I guess,” Cecetu said, breaking her hand off from his and sticking the stone back in it’s pouch. “I’ll...figure out some way to talk with him.”

* * *

_This was a bad idea._ He wanted to meet with her inside a small home he managed to land within the Goblet. The Goblet, where once her free company had a home. Every single action he took just infuriated her further.

And then she suddenly stopped. She was going into a man’s home. Alone. 

She could kick herself in the head for not thinking of the implications sooner.

Cecetu opened up her linkpearl. “Eleone, I need help. Can you come to the Goblet and hang around there?”

“Certainly. What’s wrong?” She asked, noticing the tinge of fear in her voice.

“I asked Chotan if we could meet, and I just realized the danger in letting him pick. He wants me to meet in his personal home.”

“Give me the plot details. I’ll hang around nearby. Just give me a code-word if things go wrong.”

“Thanks. Let’s go with ‘blackened sins.’”

“Yeesh, you are far too dark sometimes,” Eleone remarked. Cecetu gave the directions to Eleone as she made her way to that house. And there it was. A tiny house around the outside rim of the wall. Far too close to the edge for her taste.

“Salutations!” Chotan exclaimed, waving his arm enthusiastically. He had some sort of blanket and basket set out. “It’s truly amazing to have a yard of your own, so I thought we could enjoy the sunshine out here.”

Well, at least he wasn’t locking her inside of his home. That was a start. Cecetu sat herself down as far away as she could on the blanket.

“Come now, don’t look so grumpy!” The Au Ra exclaimed far too exuberantly. “I have tea to share! Or maybe some spirits? Do you drink?”

“Not really no. While there is no official rule against drinking in the Order, it is heavily frowned on.”  _ By the more religious types at least. _

“Tea it is then!” he said, very dramatically serving the tea. Cecetu accepted her cup, but not without staring at it for a long long time, pondering if there was something in this.  _ No no, he’s just an idiot but still… _

She took a sip, gingerly. It was...pleasant tea. Reminded her of the brew she shared with the clerics. Strange. But likely nothing. Still strange.

“Well? Is it good?”

With great effort, Cecetu said “Yes.”

“Excellent! Ah, I asked, what is the good tea for an Ul’dan lady to partake? I am a foreigner in this strange land and I wish to make friends! Shopkeep gave me this and I am very pleased that you like it. To share a drink-” Chotan said, raising his cup to her, “-is a fine way to make friends,” he said and then drinking a good portion of tea. “But you seem ill at ease with me. I am something you despise, a fellow mage, though I do not know why that is so angering to you.”

“You just showed up. With your arrogant attitude and just dismissed us all.”

“Well, that is something I wished to desperately change but you...you pulled a gun on me. You wanted to kill me. Just because I was something you were once. And I know whom you are. Lalai told me all about the best acolyte. The darkest Black Mage within the land. The true wielder of Shatotto’s legacy. And that mage despises me for reasons I do not understand. I want to know why.”

“Answer me this then. Why do you have a rare and mystical gem of a sect of magic that is near forgotten?” Cecetu said, glaring with the darkest glare she could.

Chotan leaned back, exhaling. “Ah what a question. Well, my father is a businessman. One who in his spare time, enjoys spending what wealth he has on the strange and the unusual. He has many of these job stones. I nabbed the one that most fascinated me and for years, I tried to delve into its secrets. My father wanted me to follow in his footsteps or, failing that, to take up an arcane art that was more official. My mother, however, was delighted. ‘Set forth to find your own path!’ she declared. And then, I saw the crystal! She showed me the path. The path that lead to Eorzea! And so I set forth on adventure straight away!”

“Uh huh,”  _ So he’s a merchant prince. No wonder he slid right into Ul’dahn society.  _

“Now answer my question,” he suddenly replied, leaning in close and his face switching from his lighthearted demeanor into an utterly serious one. “Why do you hate me so much that you wished to kill me?”

“I- you were an arsehole. We had just lost so much and you  _ knew _ ! That’s what annoyed me most of all! You said you were aware of the loss of the Scions and you didn’t care!” Cecetu was standing up and striding on over to Chotan. “And you just thought, ‘Oh I’ll go and find these bastards and rub it in your face!’”

Chotan coughed. “Methinks the lady protest too much.”

The gun was at his face again. Chotan sighed. “Are you always like this? Threats of violence?”

She fired a shot, taking care to graze his cheek. “It’s not idle.”

“Noted. But that was a ruckus and now the Immortal Flames will notice.”

She chuckled. “Many people practice on target dummies.”

There was genuine fear in his eyes now. Good. His face was unreadable as the two waited in tense moments. It could have been seconds passing but it felt like minutes. Finally, he spoke. “You seem to care a lot about your Free Company’s reputation. It would be a shame if they were found out to harbor a woman who would kill in cold blood.”

The gun began to tremble in her hands.  _ Fuck this man. Fuck him. Fuck him and his chocobo he rode in on. _

“Well, that would certainly be a  _ blackened sin _ on my soul wouldn’t it?” she said. Still, she put away her gun as she heard the distant sound of footsteps come closer.

Chotan let slip a little yelp as the Dark Knight Eleone suddenly strode on up to his home. “Something wrong Cecetu?”

“No. I got what I came for. Let’s go.” She turned and walked away, striding towards the Goblet’s exit.

“So...what did you find out?” Eleone asked.

“He’s...”  _ A jerk. Pompous. Scared. Lonely. Arrogant. _

_ Too much like me. _

“...an arsehole. Someone to keep an eye on.”

“Alright then, I’ll trust your judgment,” Eleone said.

Cecetu nodded, doing her best to try to ignore her feelings of doubt, shame, anger. Nothing for it but to stick to her guns.

**Author's Note:**

> ...and now I'm just like "How the hell does Chotan get into Wanderer's League by the end of Stormblood?"
> 
> Huh. It seems my brain is giving me ideas but I shall ignore them because I wanna write about the newest expansion dang it!


End file.
